Cauterize ~

The deep gash on my arm
the pain so real
as always,
left you unmoved.

Flesh hanging ,
shirt soaked in blood.
On a stretcher
outside the operation theater
to be stitched up.

Surely ,
this should have evoked
a different reaction .
I wonder.

With me you were.
Yet , a presence is all I can remember.

A tilt
towards my half brother and sister.
Let affections in my cup drain.

And then
you had to leave .
What could have been,is what never was.

Shelter uprooted, the roof blown away.
In one single moment ,
You were gone forever.

Today,
I look at my son.
Its me i see in his eyes.

I am to him,
what you should
have been ,
to me.

Every fear,each insecurity.
I'm there beside you son.

I love you far beyond my own self .
It's my childhood
I live in you .

Father,
with me you were,
Yet ,a presence is all I remember ...